There are at least four basic ways to control a woman.
One way is to ignore the woman – denying her needed companionship and love – making her desperate. This is emotional and psychological management.
In the extreme – perhaps even committing adultery – she can be declared an unfit mother for her children or suffer equivalent degradation.
A variation of the above is telling the woman she is crazy. Woman have a basic and compelling need to know that they are normal – whatever that may mean to society at the moment.
Although extremely effective as a control mechanism, to deny a healthy woman the sense that she is sane and rational is the ultimate mental torture. It is probably the most physically and psychologically debilitating of the methods.
Another way to control a woman is to keep her busy. While children can be one way of doing this, one frequently sees this in business where an ambitious wife is brought into a business or organization in an ancillary position that keeps her too busy to cause trouble in other ways.
In the subsidiary arrangement, she bedevils the hired help and keeps track of things, but she is otherwise denied any real decision-making power.
A better way to control a woman is to take her in hand. Although decried by detractors as ‘violence’ against a woman's will, it is the most honest of the four methods. It is emotionally and physically healthier for her in that it is not psychologically manipulative.
It is pressure releasing rather than tension building. Consequently, it is actually the most liberating of experiences for women in that it facilitates the cleansing power of tears as she is being held in secure arms.
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As a cathartic experience, it effectively purges guilt and other emotional baggage. It that it clears the mind rather than clutters it, taking a woman in hand is the antithesis of psychological manipulation.
Traditional marriage implies consent for a woman to be taken in hand. Where political correctness has gotten the cart before the donkey is in demanding that consent for a taken in hand relationship be explicit.
Actually it should be the other way around. A woman should have to show – especially through her behavior – why she should not be taken in hand on occasion.
Marriage is not a parlor game. Nor is it a prolonged college date-night with paperwork and rings. Instead, marriage is an arrangement that is older than the current institutions and philosophies that try to define it as an ‘alternative” lifestyle.
Within marriage, women have a right to expect to be loved and treated as something other than a girlfriend on an extended visit. At the same time, within that stable arrangement comes the implicit consent to be taken in hand.
Marriage does not imply consent to anything, not sex, not housework, and certainly not to being controlled, these are all things which may or may not take place within the relationship, but neither partner has a right to expect or impose them on the other. We were all created with a free will, and the ability to exercise it, the people in a relationship define it together. There is no true relationship where one partner imposes their will on the other citing some implication of consent by existance of the relationship.
Is being controlled an element of taken in hand?
I'm not sure what I think of the idea of being "controlled." I see myself as being in a male led relationship. I give my boyfriend a lot of say in things because I value his opinion, often above my own. I want him to be happy, and I am happy having him in charge.
In most of the examples Noone gave about being controlled the woman was treated very badly, except in the case of being taken in hand, which he described as cathartic and positive for the woman involved.
To me being taken in hand isn't being controlled. I still "control" myself. I do what I want to or have to do. The difference is that while I am doing these things I am thinking about myself as part of a bigger picture. Part of "us." As a part of "us" I try to do things that will make both of us happy. If I want to do something that my boyfriend is against I don't do it. The decision is completely with in my control. I could decide to do it regardless of his feelings, but that's not the kind of relationship either of us wants.